Name: Brian McIntosh

Position: Central Defence

D.O.B: 20th April 1972

Previous Clubs: Muirkirk, Ashfield, Glasgow Perthshire, Kirkintilloch Rob Roy, Maryhill

Real Job: Ventilation Duct Erector

Tell us a secret: My brother was born with six toes on one foot and five on the other

Saint or Sinner on pitch: Bit of both

Favourite player at club: Willie Bowler

Worst/Best Hairdo at club: worst - willie bowler,  best - gary mcgrath

Worst/Best dress sense: worst - gary seymour,  best - Big Tosh

Who hogs the mirror: Gareth Timoney

Most embarrassing moment in football: Taking an involuntary erection after being struck in the goolies with the ball (not funny!) as the game went into extra time

Ambitions in football: To play as long as I can

All time hero: Terry Butcher

If you could tell the manager one thing what would it be: I'll wait til i get a new crash helmet

One item that you couldn't live without: Remote control (sky sports)

All your team mates are on a doomed flight you only have two parachutes who do you save and why: No one i'd take the two incase one didn't open

If you could have someone play you in your life story who would it be and why: Ricky Ross or Paul Weller as i'd like it to be a musical

Most printable nickname: Big Tosh

What is the best shout you have had from fans: No one shout really.  The cheer that went round after I scored in the marymass game this season will live with me forever

In five words describe yourself: Tall, dark, handsome, gifted & broke